The Audiophoolery Thread.

[mark2collection]

(Ideally, to be read in the same manner as Mr Voiceover on the T.V).

'What you really need is an audio-grade room ioniser(!)

Why not send your music wirelessly to your HiFi from your handheld device, & all from the comfort of your own armchair, and worry not about cable impedance from here on.

Not available in the shops, the audio-grade room ioniser will make dust cling to other surfaces, including your records (but no one uses them now), enabling all of your digital wireless audio streams to 'hit' your HiFi with ab-soo-luuute gusto, including the zeros, which actually, don't exist!

Safe in the knowledge the hot-glue used to assemble your ioniser was 'time-aligned' (though it isn't now!) and no regard has been made in terms of future serviceability, the audio-grade room ioniser is fully WEEE compliant & the non-filtered switch-mode power supply will cheerfully sing along with the music, though not in time (sorry Mary Poppins).

£6999.99, lifetime warranty, and when the unit dies, it's not under warranty, since it's reached the end of its life!'

And breath.

Mark

[Radio Wrangler]

Originally Posted by mark2collection

the audio-grade room ioniser is fully WEEE compliant

Note that WEEE compliance of this product is time-limited, and that the product must be sent for recycling immediately the shrink film is opened.

High frequency tonal balancing was performed by skilled listening practitioners using music by Crosby, Stills, Matthei, Young, and Jones.

David

[Craig Sawyers]

Some fuses https://www.futureshop.co.uk/catalogsearch/result/?q=fuse

[mark_in_manc]

"When installing your new fuse, please ensure you test the fuse in both directions as they are directional from left to right. When the fuse is inserted in the correct direction it will sound more detailed."

They didn't have to put that in. But they were having so much fun taking the p*ss out of their customers with their product, that they couldn't resist a little more knife-twisting when it came to the user instructions

[Radio Wrangler]

I can see that a number of purchasers could have problems deciding which way round does sound the most detailed. Ditto for directional cables.

Is there therefore a market opportunity for a trusted high-end audiophile to be hired to visit and make a definitive pronouncement?

They could add directional markings with a paint-pen, or fit little personalised markers.

So much per mile, plus so much per hour, plus so much per marking. And the purchaser of this service gets something to show for it.

David

[joebog1]

Craigs's fuses look good !!! 13 amps !!! thank god its only a headphone amplifier. Mind you it wouldnt work if fitted backawards.

Phew, there are some suckers about!!!!.

Joe

[Herald1360]

Originally Posted by Craig Sawyers

Some fuses https://www.futureshop.co.uk/catalogsearch/result/?q=fuse

Looks like a nod to slow rectifiers there!

[GrimJosef]

Originally Posted by Radio Wrangler

... They could add directional markings with a paint-pen, or fit little personalised markers ...

But doing that might change the sound, surely ?

Cheers,

GJ

will drag me out into the carpark

Surly the OATS (Open Air Test Site).

lifetime warranty

Ah, that old chestnut, when it goes wrong they come round and shoot you, that does two things a) the claim is real and b) no negative feedback (that alone is a win win).

[Radio Wrangler]

Originally Posted by GrimJosef

But doing that might change the sound, surely ?

Simply declare it to be an improvement and it will be so!

Even in the fields of shamanism, witch-doctory etc (W C fields?), rank has its privileges.

David

Perhaps all fuses, cables, (sorry, um, interconnects), capacitors, resistors and the like are directional, it's just that most have never had their optimum direction determined!

[ajgriff]

"In fact, UEF Tech is so powerful even an electrical chain several miles long is fundimentally improved with nothing more than a single fuse engineered with Synergistic Research's patented UEF Technology."

Now that's a clever trick. Shame they can't spell fundamental but I guess that's being picky.

Alan

[The Philpott]

-Note that one of the examples of high prices i highlighted recently is run from a house (though possibly with some sort of home-office facility round the back)
Good way to minimise overheads but the insurance premium (and the rates?) would still be substantial...not substantial enough to justify a 500 or 1000% profit margin though.
Dave

[stevehertz]

Originally Posted by Radio Wrangler

I can see that a number of purchasers could have problems deciding which way round does sound the most detailed. Ditto for directional cables.


David

Really? They're usually ultra confident about how things are better, different, whatever. The fact that it's all in the mind is neither here nor there though!

[Beobloke]

Originally Posted by Radio Wrangler

Perhaps all fuses, cables, (sorry, um, interconnects), capacitors, resistors and the like are directional, it's just that most have never had their optimum direction determined!

Interconnects aren’t, but mains cables are most definitely directional and offer a significant deterioration in sound if connected the wrong way round.

I would have thought that would be obvious to anyone - it can be explained by simple physics after all.

[Kentode]

Originally Posted by Beobloke

Interconnects aren’t, but mains cables are most definitely directional and offer a significant deterioration in sound if connected the wrong way round.

I would have thought that would be obvious to anyone - it can be explained by simple physics after all.

Do tell.

it can be explained by simple physics after all

Go on then...

[Radio Wrangler]

I think that if you try to plug the IEC end into the wall and the BS1363 end into the amplifier, they don't fit and so you get no sound at all.

David

[Dickie]

Originally Posted by merlinmaxwell

Go on then...

Erm... Mains leads have a 13A plug( male) on one end and an IEC connector (female) on the other. Hard to get it wrong?

Erm 2..... Crossed with David. Great pedants think alike.

[Dickie]

Searching for "UEF technology" patents, this paints a new picture on things---

https://patents.google.com/patent/US9732234B2/en