You seem to have a well thought out approach there. If someone objects to being asked for more info re themselves it might tell us something. You are right that there are all kinds of pressures on everyone and genuine mistakes take place but human nature and good manners are always at the root of the technology. If I post something I think it's important to check back on any responses and engage generally without just focusing on my particular concern!
Most people are very amenable here, despite your unfortunate e-mail experiences and a sense of humour always helps
Dave