[Radio Wrangler]

Anthropology and Smartphones!

The smartphone is a personal digital assistant/games machine. That it can also make telephone calls is a hangover from a distant past, rather like the human appendix.

It is crucially important that the antenna is located inside the device with no external clues to its presence. Under the infrequent circumstances when the user is actually using it to talk to anyone in real-time, they must not be reminded in any way that they are talking into a radio transmitter. Such thoughts would quickly result in anxiety attacks. Live speech is only going to be used when there is a degree of desperation involved - some type of emergency and the user is already somewhat panicky. Concerns that someone might be listening to one of their least inane messages could push them over the edge.

Fashion currently requires the phone to have a shiny metal shell with a large screen facing the user. The antenna must still be inside. The fear of thinking of radio transmitters (which spill secrets and fry brains) is still greater than the already large fear of appearing unfashionable.

So the antenna is screened in all directions except through the user's head, if it's held to the ear. The result is lousy range and an increased rate of brain damage, but these are acceptable. The lousy range is no problem because the infrastructure of the networks covers all the places these people go to... in fact it defines the places most people go. Areas of no coverage are no-go areas. Users stop safely at the edge of network coverage. If it extended any further, they'd be in danger of walking over cliffs, falling off mountain paths, meeting animals, or seeing unplanned scenery. Also, in these places there could be wind which would interfere with the function of a microphone which isn't allowed to be near the mouth.

The iPhone XIX will be implanted through a hole drilled in the skull. Atrophy will have made room for it. Users will spend a few periods of an hour each day with their heads inside a beautifully simplistically styled solenoid re-charging them. It won't be a problem because they don't want to get out much. virtual reality is where it's all at.

Food will be raised by farmers going about their fields with vintage Nokias in their pockets, at least until the 2.5G network gets shut down.

David